Ladies, WE'RE SCREWED!!! by Guest Writer T-Kizzle

Ladies, ladies, ladies I bring you good news! WE'RE SCREWED. And I don’t mean the “left home and forgot to grab your cell phone” kinda screwed I mean the “left home and got hit by a fu#*^ng bus” kinda screwed.  But look at the bright side- it’s just in the relationship department. And it’s not like we’ve been fed the dream of “I do” and “happily ever after” since we were old enough to say “if I don’t get married and have kids I’ll shoot myself in the throat” or anything...

Every time I sit with a glass of wine (or these days something much, much stronger) and chat to my girlfriends the same question is posed: “Seriously, where are all the good, single men?!”  We’re all fairly attractive; “accomplished” enough to pay our own bills yet not so “accomplished” that we’re driving Range Rovers and snickering at the common folk from our 6 bedroom houses (hence not being financially intimidating?); and $h!t- we’re pretty cool chicks! Yet more of us are single than not.

And please don’t give me that “there’s probably a great guy right under your nose and you’re just not looking” bullshit. I’ve looked, he’s NOT single either! Even the lame, UN-funny, UN-charming, UN-attractive ones - TAKEN! And if there’s a good one who is single I guarantee that’s on purpose - that’s a gentleman who is not interested in a relationship and, who could blame him? His options are almost limitless. An employed 30 year old man with an iota of charm has his pick from various circles. Which circles are these women coming from?

Single 40 somethings who are thinking: I’M 40 AND SINGLE THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING TO MEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Single 30 somethings who are thinking: Ok, I’m on my way to achieving what I’ve been taught to achieve but  I’m kinda lonely over here.
Single 20 somethings who are thinking: Holy $h!t you have your own place- Bone me mister!

A woman’s options are- let’s just say- not as vast a man's. See, if we date someone much younger we’re robbing the cradle; much older and we’re clearly just after his money; much less educated and we’re selling ourselves short; much less financially stable and we’re stupid for taking on a man who can’t maintain the lifestyle we have built for ourselves.

My question is- have we been asking the wrong question? Instead of looking for the good, single men  shouldwe just be looking for the good ones? In a world where eligible bachelorettes greatly outnumber eligible bachelors should single 30 somethings give up the hope of being number 1 and accept that if we don’t want to be forever alone then maybe, just maybe we’ll have to settle for being number 2 or God forbid number 3 or 4 in a great guy’s life?

I recently met a great guy: caring, funny, intelligent, and attractive who owned a financially sound business. He expressed his interest in me and the whirlwind began: dinners in lovely restaurants, wine in great bars, plays, movies, clubs the works. We had good conversation, chemistry and compatibility. After a few months it was brought to my attention that he was engaged- a fact he failed to mention even once. When I heard and verified the information I kindly told him to lose my number and go %uck himself (I’m paraphrasing). My girlfriends say he’s an a$$hole and I’m much better off without him, my male friends say I’m an idiot because he was a genuinely “good guy.”

The bartender at my favourite bar (male) says I’m “unrealistic to only date single men because no man is ever truly single.” My trainer at the gym (male) says “being the woman on the side is often better than being the wife. You get the fun and excitement and the wife gets the arguments and laundry.” Steve Harvey is making bank teaching ladies the art of getting and keeping a man but are there even enough men to get and keep that aren’t already gotten and kept? Have we reached a point where it is unrealistic to turn away Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome just because of that pesky little wedding ring on his finger or worse that girlfriend who probably won’t last anyway?

Single ladies over the age of 26 we are left with the task of being educated but not pompous, accomplished but not intimidating, professional and domestic, sexy and lady-like and when we’re done with all that compete with each other for the 3 eligible single men on the planet! All the while answering that really annoying question we get asked from time to time: “But you’re such a great girl, why are you single?”

Are those of us with no interest in taking someone’s man or who respect the institution of marriage naïve?  Are we old fashioned prudes? Or are we just simply SCREWED?

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To my loyal readers, I hope you have enjoyed this fresh perspective as much as I have. I would like to thank T-Kizzle for giving us such a well thought out and provoking article. I am sure it will have many looking deeper into the topic. Thanks for your comments and continued support - remember - I love you all as much as chimps love bananas. Walk good!

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