To Be or Not to Be, WHEN is the Question?

Let's be honest. Can you let your hair down and truly be yourself? Knowing how judgmental and critical people can be? In a room full of people who know you and/or have the power to determine or influence the direction of your life, how does one get to truly be himself? My guess is - In those situations, YOU DON'T! Let's take it a step further - what about when courting for the ideal mate - Are you being yourself? Or do we put our best foot forward in hopes that we can trick the person into believing you are the perfect match? Then after the person is "convinced" - you then slowly start to reveal who you REALLY are. Not all at once (for fear of scaring the person away) but in tiny easy to swallow doses.

Case in point - Let's take for example Joe O.P.P. Grind - a successful businessman who spends a lot of time at work  and is primarily focused on making money. Joe thinks it's now time to settle down - after giving it some thought, he decides he wants a stay at home mom who will take care of  him, the kids and the house while he makes the money to keep the ship afloat. He finds a beautiful woman in Jane Gethim - She is everything he is looking for. Smart, family oriented, cooks for him, her place is always clean and she loves kids. She is looking for a provider and financial security - Joe fits the build. Joe asks Jane  some pertinent questions like "How would you feel about being a stay at home mom?" she responds "I think that taking care of children is a full time job and who best to take on that responsibility than the child's mother?" So far so good. Jane asks questions like "What do you do?" and "Where do you live?" To access where Joe is in life -financially. Joe responds in a way that makes Jane more than satisfied. At this point Joe feels like Jane is a match and vice-versa and they get married a year later.

After the honeymoon period and the couple settle back into what would now be their daily routine - Joe notices a few things. Jane doesn't seem to like to clean the house as much as he thought she did. As a matter of fact - she doesn't clean the house AT ALL! Additionally, she turns out to be REALLY messy and he finds himself cleaning up after her when he gets home from work. Couple that with the fact that she has stopped cooking for him all together. She would rather eat out every night than have a home cooked meal around their very own dining table. Jane actually doesn't even like to cook - Joe discovers. On the other side of the coin, Jane notices that Joe is not taking her out as much, not spending any money on her as he did in the beginning of the relationship and comes to the realization that Joe is actually a selfish miser. Wow! At this stage in the game - both parties have learned that they had been "suckered" into thinking that their significant other was something they were not! This happens all the time - Can't you think of anyone you know in this situation? Or even yourself maybe?

Let's look at an office type situation with co-workers. You are at a company function, your Christmas party. Everyone is acting proper and sophisticated like and one of your colleagues has a bit too much to drink. He has gotten to his "happy place" and as a result is acting slightly "out of character." He is very talkative, slapping all the ladies on their butts and telling all the members of upper management how much they suck! Now typically this co-worker would never say anything like that - but sometimes that "happy place" has a tendency of bringing that your inner most thoughts and actions uncontrollably. I don't know about you - but if my co-worker was acting this way in public, I would try to stay as far away as possible. I suspect many would do the same also.....Why? Well let's just say based on experience - co-workers who act out like that in public usually find themselves in the unemployment line looking for a job. Don't expect any recommendations from upper management buddy!

OK so we have spoken a bit about some of the places/situations where we can't be ourselves for fear of judgement, ridicule and even segregation. But what about the places we can truly let it all hang out and be who we really want to be? Where does that happen? Well based on my experiences - sounds like a cruise ship is a great place to start. Think about it - you gather a few of your childhood best friends, college roommates or random people you couldn't care less about what they think of you. Take a cruise that starts somewhere you've never been nor planned to ever go - visit places that weren't on your list and act an absolute fool while doing so. Now  this example is extreme - but my point is this....

Everyone needs the opportunity to be himself from time to time. Whether it means going off alone into the wilderness, or carrying your significant other, or even non judgmental friends (if they exist). YOU NEED A RELEASE! Some people try to find relief through sports, some through sex, some find relief through travel. Whichever method you choose - make sure you schedule time to be yourself and forget about what all the other people in the world may think. It's very important for you to have a strong sense of self and be OK with it. Otherwise you will be one of the puppets of the world who belongs to anyone capable of operating their strings. Don't let anyone operate your strings - UNLESS HE lives above the clouds. That's my take.....

And to my devoted readers - remember that I love you more than a frog loves the water. Thanks for the continued support - please remember to share the link to my blog, encourage your friends to read and I will "see" you all next week. Until Next time - take care of yourselves - and each other.

319