The "Black Sheep"

Negotiating which family we would like to belong to is unfortunately not a part of the deal when we are brought into this world. Sometimes you get lucky - (Prince William of the British Royal family) and sometimes we don't (Insert any child that has been brought up abused and neglected here). That being said, there is not one family on this planet that doesn't have what I consider to be a "Black Sheep." The Black Sheep is that individual who sticks out of the family/group/unit/team like a sore thumb - maybe because of the things he/she says, does or believes. Whatever the case, this person in many cases is viewed by other members of the family as a liability and in many cases an embarrassment. Not being one to shy away from talking about these topics, today I will be talking about the person I consider the Black Sheep of my family....buckle up - this isn't going to be pretty.

O.K., let's break this down - to understand if you don't fit into a family, you must first take a look at the individual members and then yourself. The funny thing is - everyone thinks about these things either consciously or subconsciously which means -the  Black Sheep is aware that he/she is the Black Sheep and may have several different explanations as to why he/she is considered the outcast of the family. Many times as a coping mechanism, the Black Sheep will turn it around and convince himself/herself that everyone else in the family is wrong and they will one day see the light...

First let me tell you a bit about my extended family. My Dad's side; I didn't have much of an opportunity growing up to really get to know them (long story) but his mother, my grandmother (Eva), to me was and is to this day the most caring, considerate and generous person I have ever met - Just an all around BEAUTIFUL person. His father which he only met a few years ago, who I am yet to meet - even though we live miles from each other in the same State - was absent for 50 years of my dad's life (long story) and has resurfaced because my mom's cousin in Florida (Big up Miss Bloss) figured out the fact that they were related and worked on getting them together...(another long story). My dad has 1 brother and 3 first cousins that grew up with him. Eva's brother passed away at an early age and had 3 girls so being the good sister she was, she  took them in and raised them like her own. In addition to which Eva being an angel also "took in"  less fortunate kids and cared for them when no one else would which stretched the already struggling single mother of 5 (See why I think Eva was so awesome?). All 5 "kids" are upstanding and well respected in their respective communities, I didn't find the "Black Sheep" on this side - I just wanted to introduce you to them as I may have another story to share at a later date.  

My mother's father (RIP "Socks") served in World War II with her majesty's Royal Air Force (R.A.F.) and then became a successful business man in Westmoreland, Jamaica. Her mother (Miss "V") was a devoted mother and housewife who took care of my mom and her 3 brothers and 2 sisters (So there were 6 in total - still with me?). Miss "V" is still alive today and will feed you to death if you allow her (Shout out to Gramma).....5 out of the 6 "children" turned out semi -decent. They were able to secure jobs, become entrepreneurs and even an author......but there was 1 boy now man who seemed to have a failure to launch....Let's call him Uncle Glenroy.

Uncle Glenroy was the youngest of 6 and he was the most spoiled of the bunch. He could basically do what he wanted, didn't listen to anyone and at an early age got "caught up" with weed (marijuana) and Rastafarianism. Fast forward 30 years, he got married to an American, became a resident of the U.S., had a smart, responsible and driven boy with her (Big up J-Money) and then later separated and got divorced. O.K. here is where it get's tricky, Uncle Glenroy has become a professional truck driver - decent profession that can make him loads of money.....but remember the fact that I mentioned he used to abuse weed, yeah well he still does.... Remember too that I said he was a Rastafarian - well now he has locks all the way to his waist. What does that mean? Well it means Uncle Glenroy can't hold a steady job because of the TEST FOR DRUG USE when you are applying to drive someone elses truck. Additionally - he fits the stereotype of someone who would partake in the illegal activity of weed use. So even though he may be able to trick the system and get into a company - he is always the first person "randomly" screened for a drug test like a middle easterner trying to get through the security check point of a U.S. airport.

This leads me to the story that made me realize how much of a scumbag Uncle Glenroy really was. As a family member you try to find the best in a person and I have had a veil over my eyes for quite some time with respects to Uncle Glenroy....but when he did this - that was when I knew I didn't want to have anything to do with him....

I was working in Pennsylvania (PA) at the time and one Saturday evening I got a call from Uncle Glenroy. I was excited because I didn't have any family in PA and  I hadn't heard from him in almost 5 years. He told me he heard that I was living in PA and that he was in the area for a while and wanted to meet up. No Problem - he was about 40 miles from where I lived so I got ready and  rushed out to the branch of the trucking company for which he worked and where he had to leave the truck. When I got there, something felt very strange - Uncle Glenroy seemed to be very agitated and in a rush. He asked if it was OK to load up my 2 door Mitsubishi Eclipse with his stuff in the sleeper section of the truck (his personal belongings). I said OK, but wasn't sure why he would need to because we were just supposed to be hanging out. Anyway because of his state at the time I just complied.

For those of you who are unaware truckers can literally live in certain types of trucks called "Sleepers" - they have a bed, fridge, microwave, TV - the whole 9 yards. Uncle Glenroy was no different - So when he said he wanted to "bring a few things"....It turned out to be 3 car loads full and 240 miles worth of driving back and forth. I discovered that this "MoFo" was fired because he was reported by a driver for misconduct (something about getting out of the truck and smashing a car glass because he was angry or something like that - don't know the full story nor do I want to...) and he needed to be off the premises by 6:00 pm that said Saturday. Thus the reason he was agitated and in such a hurry. Please keep in mind that I thought we were going to hang out for the day, it turns out I was tricked into moving him in with me into my 1 bedroom apartment and help him to find a job.

OK, so I am over the initial deceit to wiggle his way back into my life in such a forceful and rambunctious way. Now at my apartment just talking about the last 5 years that I missed, he starts to preach to me about him being a prophet and giving me dates as to when the world will end and proceeds to tell me that my College education is garbage because it's the "Man's" way of keeping us enslaved etc etc etc.....I humored him for a while because I have always known that he was a bit out there....He had with him DVDs on the Illuminati, Free Masons and the Lodge and forces me to watch it with him as "this is the real knowledge, you need to have about the world." At this point he is trying my every nerve but he is at this point in time jobless and homeless with nowhere else to turn - So I felt obligated to let him in and help him back on his feet. What an idiot I am.

That Monday I went to work with a game plan to help him apply for a job with another trucking company, turns out this "MoFo" is on a NATIONAL BLACK LIST OF DRIVERS which no trucking company owner in his right mind would hire. So getting him a job was going to be a lot more complicated and time consuming than I thought....which means he would be staying with me much longer than I had anticipated....To make matters worse - I received a call from the building manager of my apartment letting me know that there were complaints about Marijuana smoke coming from my apartment. Awesome, my uncle has been with me for 2 1/2 days and my building manager is already threatening to kick me out of my apartment. WOW!

My apartment was in a highrise and had a hotel like layout,imagine a long hall with doors on either side, each door representing a different apartment. I rushed home immediately after the building manager told me what was going on and on getting to my floor on the elevator - when those doors opened, the entire hall way was full of weed smoke. I mean it was visibly coming from my apartment and the ENTIRE FLOOR WAS STINK OF WEED! Let me give you some context - Of the 11 floors and over 100 apartments and the hundreds of people in my building, I was the only black person living there, additionally I had been fighting the stereotype that ALL Jamaicans smoke weed and have dreadlocks.....Low and behold - my nightmare was becoming a reality and Uncle Glenroy had become the epitome of all of their pre-conceived ideas about Jamaicans.....WOW! All in 3 days. I stormed into the apartment and there he was on the couch puffing a BIG HEAD SPLIFF with no regard for anything or anyone: "YOU CAN'T DO THAT HERE! I got a call from the building manager threatening to kick me out because of your smoking, this has to stop or we will both be homeless!"

He looked at me in his high state and said "Dem cyaa even smell it, how dem a gwaan suh, u nuh si seh mi open up di window dem!" I almost lost it - but in fairness, I didn't give him the rules of the apartment so I chalked it up to a mistake and told him not to do it again. The next day when I was at work, guess what happened, yeah, I got another call from the building manager - I rushed home again in the middle of the day....this is twice for the week and it's only Tuesday......Again, the elevator doors open and the floor reeks of weed. I literally kick the door down and went ballistic on this "MoFo" and told him that if he doesn't stop right now he would have to leave my apartment that same day. Of course with no car, place and very little money he had no choice but to comply at least for the moment....At this point in time my Supervisor at work is now asking me if everything is OK at home because I have been acting strange and whatever was going on was now affecting my work. I told him everything was fine, my "issue" would be resolved soon. I went on a full blitz with Uncle Glenroy's assistance to get him a job, I was calling, faxing inquiring everywhere that needed truck drivers from PA to CA with very little luck. I did receive a couple call backs on his behalf but the problem was him passing the drug test. Anyway after about 1 month of searching, heartache and almost losing my job and apartment, we found him 3 great leads for jobs and things were finally coming together.

One evening after work I went home and had a heart to heart talk with Uncle Glenroy. Remember I told you he was married and had a son. Well at that point in time he hadn't seen his son in about 8 years....I asked him why and if he thought his son deserved more than that. He said "I have chosen to live this way and suffer and as a result my son must suffer also." When he said that - I asked him to leave my apartment because his selfish ways had no place in my apartment or my life. He packed his stuff and left. Since then he has had on and off jobs and I see him from time to time but Uncle Glenroy is definitely not someone you should entertain or let into your life (maybe not even your home). He is a leech who mooches off of other people with no regard for what he does or who he hurts in the process. He has alienated himself from what's left of the family and blames it on the fact that he is a Rastafarian.

This ladies and gentlemen is the black sheep of my family. This was not written with the intent to hurt or expose others, it was written because writing is the way I express and deal with my feelings. This is my therapy - and once it's out in the open - I have dealt with the issue and my feelings the best way I know how. Thanks for your continued support and I promise to keep bringing to you openness and honesty through my writing and any other means of expression I can get my hands on....

Note - From time to time I will be working on side projects or just taking a break from the blog to take care of other projects in the works. Case in point, last week I entered a competition which "abc" (the cable channel) was hosting for their program "What Would You Do?" I am slowly working on being able to bring my stories to life on video and hopefully one day on to the BIG SCREEN......One step at a time right? I love you all, Until next time, take care of yourselves.