LEAVE BOYZ NIGHT ALONE!!!

So, last night a few of my long time high school friends got together to watch the Pacquiao versus Marquez fight, play dominoes and eat some chicken fresh off the grill (perfect Boyz night out). During the fight all 6 of us were gathered in the living room coaching both fighters through the match and arguing about who we thought won each round and why. In the middle of the fight when the fight was becoming very exciting, I found myself drifting away and thinking about how special moments like these really are.

You see, one of my very close friends present (let's call him Ryan), I have known for almost 20 years! Now let's think about that for a second. Twenty years of friendship - even though Ryan is based in Jamaica and I live in the U.S., we always seem to find a way to link up, reminisce, shit talk, eat, drink and be merry. I have many other friends like Ryan based all over the world and locally where the experience is pretty much the same (except for maybe venue and liquor selection) but equally important, special and absolutely necessary.

At this point you are probably wondering where I'm going with this - well this is actually an appeal to WOMEN! Some women for one reason or another don't see the importance of "Boyz Night" and try to find ways to keep the man away from his friends. Now before I go any further, I can't pretend like there aren't some men out there that take advantage of their freedom and end up getting themselves into trouble. Ladies - you know the guys I'm talking about - the ones that tell you they are one place and are somewhere else - the guys who come home with lipstick stains on their shirt just before the sun comes up and tries to sneak into bed without waking you.....Those guys don't count! As a matter of fact - I would strongly advise you find someone else if you are in that kind of situation (just my suggestion). I'm talking about the faithful, trustworthy, loyal men out there who you need not question because of their honesty. Don't act like you don't know any - they exist and you probably have one in your life right now!

I think being able to go out with the "Boyz" should be one of the rewards for being a good man in the eyes of a woman! And not having to hear it from you when he comes home would also be an added bonus! Just giving him the freedom to relax, be himself, and be one of the guys. Which leads me to my question to many of you ladies out there who are against Boyz Night - Why? Why would you not be ok with your significant other taking a break from his every day life to be around his friends? This could be anything from playing a game of golf to spending a weekend in Las Vegas - Why do you have such an issue with that? I would also ask - Do you not also have close friends that you can shoot the breeze with? You know, girl friends you grew up with that you are still friends with today. Girls you aren't/weren't competing against to get that guy, the pocket book or the shoes. The girls you can trust to be alone with your man and not have to worry if they will try to test your man's loyalty to you. Friends you love and trust to have your back when you need them most. Are you still with me?  

We all know that men argue and compete, but we usually find some common ground from which to build our friendship/bond - and those bonds in many cases turn out to be life long - rock solid friendships. Initially, It could be anything from supporting the same sports team or just having one thing in common like-where you went to school. These bonds start off small then grow over time - I also find that the bond grows not only up - but also out. What do I mean by that? Typically, if you are a good friend of my good friend - chances are you are probably going to turn out to be one of my friends too....(exceptions do apply).

Why is it that some women have such a hard time keeping long term bonds with other women? Why is it that because they have no girl friends to share a girls night with - they want you to "suffer" along with them? Do you think that as a result of a woman having few or no friends, it negatively impacts her man's relationship with his friends? I don't know about YOU, but I KNOW IT DOES!  From indirect experience I have seen how a woman can totally destroy a man's relationship with his friends because she has none of her own. It is that level of selfishness that causes all sorts of resentment, animosity and in some cases an implosion of several relationships including the relationship between the couple.

This is the easy step by step break down of how it unfolds:
1. The woman doesn't want the man to go out with his friends
2. The man stops going out with his friends to please his woman
3. The woman finds things for both of you to do
4. The man goes along with it for peace and quiet
5. You both go to places she likes - with little of or no consideration for him
6. The man starts to think to himself - What have I gotten myself into
7. Woman thinks you are now over your friends because you both are doing things she wants to do
8. Man wants to be around his friends -but has totally alienated himself through absence
9. Woman is happy her man is always around and more than willing to do things with her
10. The man wants to kill himself!

Now I could go on and on with the breakdown but I think this gives you a fair understanding of how I view this situation from the male perspective. Even if you (as a woman) have him give his input as to what you guys should do together - it still won't be the same as him being out with the BOYZ! The sooner you come to that realization - the better your relationship will be (in theory).

Before I close I would like to give a shout out to all the understanding women out there who give there men the freedom to be men - Thanks! And for all those women out there who don't think your man having a "Boyz Night Out" or him just being around friends is important - Your man is probably a shadow of his former self and is seen amongst his former friends as a push over who is psychologically abused by his woman! Lastly, for those men out there who have been convinced by their women that they don't need to be around their male friends, have a Boyz Night or share the camaraderie that you used to - I congratulate your woman! She's got you by the balls and wrapped around her little finger you whipped pansy!