What Goes Around...

Now before I jump into the story there is a disclaimer. Typically I wouldn't share this with anyone but what happened to me as a result of my act was so powerful - I feel compelled to share. So I have been having some challenges concerning my current 9-5 and have been working diligently to change my situation...I have reached out to everyone I know, informing them of my circumstances and making it clear that I want a change. Unfortunately, In these times (as you may or may not know), one can not expect to jump into a new opportunity without knowing someone on the "inside" - being new to Florida and having a tiny network - this has been my biggest challenge. I have done all I can to date and am now patiently waiting....

This is where my story starts...

After another tiring day of work I left the office around 6:45 pm. On getting to the parking lot I noticed an elderly  couple walking towards me. When I say elderly - I mean easily in their 80s close to 90. At first I thought they were going to jump me based on the fact that I was the only one in the parking lot and how "quickly" they were approaching. I thought to myself wow - this is gonna be interesting....The lady - who had 3 bags in her hand - had obviously been shopping all day - she had white hair, was about 5'2", BIG GLASSES, and a bit of a hunch which caused her to lean forward. She spoke first - "Excuse me! - Do you know of any car services around here?" "No I don't - I do know however the number to a taxi service, would you like me to call for you?" "No, I don't want a Taxi, I want a car service - you know what - Is that a hospital over there?" "Yes it is - That's West Boca Medical - They would be sure to have access to a car service..."

There was a brief pause - by then her husband had caught up to her and joined the "exchange" - She started to cry - she says "I am so embarrassed, we are snow birds (fly from the North to seek refuge in warmer climate during the Winter season) who just came down here from Long Island. This is our first day and a bus was supposed to come pick us up right across the street and it just never came. We don't know where we are and we don't know what to do." At this time her husband steps in - seemingly soft spoken - he stood about 5'3",  white hair - very frail and he had a very concerned look in his face. The reason he took so long to get to where we stood was because he was pulling hand luggage because they must have known they were going to be buying a TONNE of stuff at the shops that day. "How far is the hospital from here?" he asked "You can actually see it from here, it's right down the street...." There was a pause - the obviously upset wife started crying again and began to go on and on about never taking the 91 bus again and that they were exactly where they were supposed to be at the designated time "WHY WOULD THEY LEAVE US?!" she exclaimed. "Lady I have no idea..." I said.

At that point - her husband put his arms around her and said "it's not far dear we can make it...." I couldn't take it any more - "Where do you guys live?" "We are staying at this place called Century Village a complex that houses 55+" she said. "How far is it from here?" I asked, She said "the bus took about 20 mins..." In my mind I'm like GREAT! After a rough day and wanting to go home - I am now stuck with a pair of elderly people that live 20 minutes further away from my home. AWESOME! "Do you know the exact address for Century Village?" "No we only know that it is off Lyons Road." I then pulled out my phone and did a search for Century Village, Lyons road - got the address. "NOW ARE YOU SURE THIS IS THE PLACE YOU LIVE?" "Yes we live off Lyons Road." "Get in the car," I said - her immediate response was "Can we trust you? Can I see some ID? Are you going to kill us? Are you sure there isn't a car service?" - She was noticeably uncomfortable and nervous - meanwhile hubby was already eager to get into the car. I said "Look lady - you see me coming out of an office, you approach me going to my car, you tell me your problem and I am now offering to help you - if you want to call a car service go right ahead - the hospital is right across the street, I am only trying to help." "But are you going to kill us?" she said in a serious tone - I responded "I have already met my quota for killing elderly people who are having trouble getting back to Century Village for the week..." they laughed.

I helped them with their bags and hand luggage and put them in the trunk of my car. They were both heading to the back seat like I was supposed to be some kind of chauffeur or something for them - I'm like wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, - "I'm not a cab driver - someone rides up front with me - who is going to give me directions once we start getting closer?" is how I framed it.....They quietly conversed for a second to decide who would ride up front - It was the husband who lost the coin toss..."I will ride up front with you" he said reluctantly....In my mind I'm thinking - what have I gotten myself into.....

Everyone is now seated and has been helped to buckle up - I put the address into my GPS and it came back with the directions and that the destination was 17.3 miles away - I looked up to the sky and asked - "What have I done to deserve this Lord?" I began to back out of my parking space ready to take on the ride and my GPS recalculated my position and told me the destination was only 3.2 miles away....The GPS satellite hadn't picked up my current location - it was telling me how far I would have been from the destination I put in last....It was as if God was testing to see if I would have still carried them knowing that it was further away from where I originally thought....

Anyway I was very grateful that it was only a 3 mile trip in the opposite direction of my home and not 17 miles away. As soon as we pulled out of the spot and began our journey the wife started talking about all her ailments - I heard about her pancreas, back, shoulders, toes, bones and about specific bodily functions that weren't operating the way they should (I will spare you the details) - All the while the husband is extremely quiet trying to see if he recognizes any of the sights so he knows he is on the right path home. We are now about half way there based on my GPS and now the wife's phone starts ringing "Hello...... I'm too embarrassed to tell you what's going on.......we were left on the side of the street......I'm too embarrassed to tell you more....." she says and then she hangs up the phone - "That was my daughter - she is worried but I am too embarrassed to let her know what is going on" - She starts to cry hysterically and says "I have never done this before - why did the bus leave us? - I will never take that bus again........" I said to her "How many kids do you have?" "She said "2 girls" - "What do they do for a living?" - she told me - I just can't remember what she said - my tactic was just to get her more comfortable and STOP CRYING! "I then asked her "why are you crying? She said "because we were stranded and didn't know how we were getting home." I said "But you don't have either of those problems now do you?" There was silence - then she says "You are right I will calm down." Also I said, "You may want to let your daughter know that you are OK - because based on that conversation earlier - she is probably going crazy - it's not helping that she has tried to call you back 4 times and you aren't answering the phone......would you do that for me please? Just as a favor - She did. 


We get to the gate of the now infamous Century Village - gated community with tight security as you can well  imagine here in south Florida. Can I have your I.D.? I turned to the passenger seat to see if the husband would chime in at any time -  he checked his pockets, checked his jacket, checked all over (this took about 6 minutes) it was like watching a turtle "run" towards a beach 4 miles away - ROUGH! The security guard was quite understanding though she seemed to deal with this kind of situation on a regular basis - ALSO ROUGH! Meanwhile the wife in the back - "Where's your ID? I thought you had your ID? Did you lose your ID? Did you check your top pocket for your ID? .......................and after he confirmed he has indeed lost his ID - The wife brandishes hers.WOW!

Anyway, we were able to furnish the ID, the gates open and we are off to find their apartment. "Wait, Wait, Wait!" Wife exclaims - "What's wrong?" I asked - Drop us off here - we have already taken too much of your time and away from your dinner - just drop us here and we will take a shuttle bus in to our apartment" she said....."So let me get this straight, you have a car and a driver but choose to wait on a shuttle bus to take you to your apartment? You do realize you have shopping bags and hand luggage in my trunk right? Would you prefer to carry them around until the bus came? I asked. She said "No" - Well alright then we are off.....

Now for those of you who don't know, I discovered that Century Village off Lyons Road is one of the LARGEST 55+ communities in Florida! THIS PLACE WAS HUGE!!!! A CITY WITHIN A CITY TYPE HUGE! After driving another few miles and asking various bus drivers and random folks on the campus how to get to their apartment - we finally found it! Suddenly, the wife starts to cry AGAIN - but this time it's tears of joy - "thank you so much, we have never done anything like this before, thanks for not killing us, let me give you some money,  would you like to come in for dinner?" she asked - "Lady, lady lady....I'm fine - save your money and your dinner - maybe some other time." I said "Aren't you even going to tell me your name?" she asked - I said "Nope, I don't want you to know my name and then send someone to kill me." They laughed. I drove off and was now on my way home.

Now, almost 8:00 pm and a few minutes into my drive - I get a call from one of the Human Resources Managers that I had been trying to get a hold of forever - she calls me from her cell phone and apologized it took so long for her to get in touch with me and that she will be working on helping me find another opportunity as best she could....and before she could finish her sentence ANOTHER HR Manager called me from another company and also apologizes for not being in better touch with me - After trying to get in touch with these people for MONTHS - they BOTH CALL ME AT THE SAME TIME? I looked up to the sky while speaking to one HR manager and having the other on hold and said - Thank you Lord!

I am now scheduled for interviews next month - wish me luck....           

Men LOVE Women; Women Love MONEY!

Confession, I have been fighting an internal battle on whether to express my views on this topic or not...Clearly you see for yourself which side of the battle was defeated! Now some may say I am biased, some say contraversial - the truth is, I speak/type my mind and am not too concerned about what people think, why? Because I write my interpretation based off of my experiences, and the thing about an experience is that each is unique. We may both look at the same situation and interpret it differently - It's kind of what makes us human eh?  OK, enough of the buttering up - I know I'm going to receive hate mail and angry phone calls from many of you anyway so I don't even know why I bother....here it goes...

Since the beginning of time, men have been given the position of provider. In the days of cavemen - we see a distinctive separation of roles. The men went out into the fields to hunt, kill for food and take home to the women. The women on the other hand were essentially responsible for everything else i.e. taking care of the children, farming, cooking, tending to the men and the list goes on and on. When it comes to marriage, it was customary for the male to present the female's family with livestock (goats, sheep, cows, etc...) or anything that would be considered valuable to the family before being "awarded" the woman. If the family was happy with the offering, DONE DEAL! Off he was with his prize and hopefully they lived happily ever after! Additionally, if the man was rich and owned many herds of different livestock and possessed many items of value - he could simply repeat this process and end up with several "wives" to be at his beck and call.

If you think about it - how much have things really changed? From a young age a woman is taught to bring home a provider, someone who is financially able to maintain or better the lifestyle provided by her parent(s). So when a woman comes of age and is looking to settle down, there is no surprise that she begins to assess a man for what he has, and what he can provide to make her life and subsequently the lives of her children better. Based on this knowledge it is pretty easy to see why some men stop at nothing to be able to "acquire what they most desire." It has been said that many wars have been fought and thousands have been killed over a single woman. Let's take it down a few notches - How many of you know a man who has done something completely out of character just to get the attention of a woman? I'm not sure any man can say he doesn't fall into that category, myself included.

I remember a very long time ago - I was a skinny teenager wanting to impress this really cute older girl. We went swimming and she said to me "why am I seeing all those bones in your back," referring to my vertebral bones. I wanted to impress her so badly, that I spent the entire summer at my grandmother's house (who is known for providing 7 major feedings per day - shout out to Miss V!) in an effort  to fatten myself up so she wouldn't see my bones protruding anymore. Not only am I still trying to recover from that stupid decision made almost 2 decades later, I didn't even get the girl. she ended up with someone who didn't have bones protruding, but he couldn't see his toes either....go figure.

I digress, the point is this - for the love and affection of a woman - a man will try to move mountains.Luckily, in this day and age, that equates to simply having enough money to provide a comfortable life for her. What is the definition of a comfortable life for a modern day woman you may ask? House, car, exotic vacations, 5 star hotels, 5 star restaurants, memorable nights out on the town, money for but not limited to: shopping, manicures, pedicures, body scrubs, waxing, massages, hair maintenance, yoga classes and a gym membership - just off the top of my head. Now of course this example isn't a one size fits all for every woman - but I find that the women who are highly sought after, tend to look for someone who has the ability to provide these things (at a minimum)...

The interesting thing about a woman who finds a man who is in a position to provide these things, is that he is also highly sought after by other desirable women who will stop at nothing to get him. In many cases based on the man's financial prowess - he is now in a situation where he is not only able to "aquire the one he desires," he also gets to add to his collection as he sees fit. Many times with all parties involved being well aware of the situation. And that ladies and gentlemen, is how I came up with the title for this blog post. It is a vicious cycle we are in and wealthy men are becoming harder to find, but physically beautiful, desirable women seem to be a dime a dozen. Seems like an economics equation of supply and demand. Either way, in the end -  isn't it money that actually wins?

By this point there are many women saying - "Well this blog doesn't describe me at all, this is so one sided, where is he finding these women anyway?" This is where I turn the spotlight on myself. While thinking about expressing my views about this topic I had a moment of self discovery. I keep "finding" and ending up with women that would be considered needy by any practical thinking person. Whether it is they need a motivator, financial backer, someone to provide emotional strength or even a mediator between them and the world...I always seem to fill a void (or two) which I eventually grow to resent. This has lead me to the conclusion that I am attracted to and seek out women who seem to lack one of my strengths, then work on filling the void which in turn fills my need to be wanted, needed, and appreciated. The issue is not with the women at all....I am fighting a battle against myself.

Why is it that I am so attracted to these women? Why have I been so willing to provide a helping hand wherever I saw a void I could fill? Why do I seek that feeling of appreciation and worth in a relationship so desperately? Is this coming from my childhood, the way I was grown up or the people I surrounded myself with? I am still working on the answers to these questions but, recognizing the root of the problem is the first step towards growth. Accepting your flaws also helps you to be able to identify them in others and know how to work with and around them if necessary. Now I have the task of changing my mindset on who and how I approach women when it comes to relationships (as if meeting new people wasn't hard enough). The mountain is high and the journey is long, but one step at a time in the right direction - eventually get's us to the peak.

...And to To my loyal readers, share your thoughts in the comments section - Let me know your feelings on the subject. Remember too that whether I post on a weekly, monthly or annual basis...mi love unnuh like how dry skin love lotion. Walk good until we meet again!














299

Virtually ALIVE but Socially DEAD

It is only a matter of time until your annoying cell phone beeps, chimes or rings again! We are on a date(for crying out loud!) trying to get to know each other - aren't we? Why do your annoying c#@$ blocking girlfriends keep asking you how the date is going while it's still in progress?!! I think to myself, you all know we are still on our date, why do you keep calling?!!??!!! Even worse, Why the %^&* do you feel obligated to answer!?!! If you aren't talking, you are messaging, if you aren't messaging you are on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or Pinterest. If you aren't doing that - you have a game of scrabble you are trying to win with your friend from Japan who doesn't get to see you much and is bored because she is lonely! When does it STOP?!!!!

WooooSaaaaahhhh......If you couldn't tell, I am extremely irritated by the inseparable, unhealthy bond modern minded, computer savvy people have formed with technology! How many times have you tried to have a conversation with someone and the other person found it necessary AT THAT MOMENT to return a text? How many times have you been to a play, concert, sporting event or any event for that matter, where it seems like people were more interested in letting people know where they were and what they were doing rather than enjoying what was actually happening right in front of them? I have seen someone accidentally step into the road and hit by a car, and instead of people running to help, they were busy getting video or taking pictures of the incident!!!! Wait a minute....Are you guilty of any of these "offenses?" YOU ARE GUILTY AREN'T YOU (I know I am)? Now I wouldn't have a problem if you were in an important College class that you needed to earn your Masters and you just so  happened to be in the mood to read my blog - I can understand that - But any other distraction would be absolutely unacceptable!

Fun and joke aside folks, do you not see what is happening to us? Why are we going to social gatherings and spending time trying to take the perfect picture to upload to Facebook, rather than interact with the people  in front of us? Are we becoming a virtual society? Why has it become so important for us to show all of our "FRIENDS" how exciting, amazing and action packed our lives are? Even the most "private" people can be found exhibiting the spoils of their weekend adventures. But why? Is it because the internet gives us the opportunity to portray our "best self?" Is it because we want people to see how perfect our lives are? Is it the new way of showing off and making ourselves feel more elite and exclusive than others? Maybe it's a combination of all of the above.

The way I see it is that technology has become a way for us to present ourselves in a way that we would like to be viewed by others. Additionally, it allows us to get a glimpse into people's lives we wouldn't normally have access to. It's kind of like having a telescope with the ability to see inside glass houses of your friends, their friends and beyond. It also allows us to be more connected than ever - not only by voice, but by video, through games, and messages that can be transmitted instantaneously to anywhere in the world! We are living in a great time, we have the power to be in touch with as many or as few people as we feel the need to on any type of device we prefer (if you can afford it) at any time of the day! We should be rejoicing right?  Well yes and no. We should be rejoicing because the world has become so much smaller due to the ease of access technology provides, but we should be sad that it has been and will continue to take away our social and face to face interaction skills. In some cases, we can't even write a complete sentence without using acronyms like LOL, BRB, TTYL and WTF.

I have to admit, I'm a little worried. Worried about how we have so easily assimilated to a virtual lifestyle and started to lose touch with reality. I bet that some of us actually believe the lies we are  telling online to describe ourselves. Take this posting on a popular dating site for example:

Man Seeking Woman - I'm slim but muscular standing at 6'5"- attended  Harvard, Yale and Stanford - I Practice Criminal, Immigration, and Family Law as well as dabble as a Orthopedic, Cardiovascular and Neuro Surgeon.  That is of course when I'm not being a Civil, Electrical and Environmental Engineer. In my spare time I like to rock climb, deep sea dive and sky dive. Lastly,  as a hobby, I built a custom space shuttle which has the ability to make the trip to Mercury during the winter (It's much warmer there). I also like to bar-b-cue with my neighbors Oprah and Warren in the summer by my olympic size pool shaped by my signature. If you want to get to know me or spend some time with me please feel free to respond to this add. Au revoir mon amour (I also speak 9 languages - French included)

Ladies and gentlemen, please take some time to step out of your virtual world and find the time to appreciate the beauty of your planet. Make strong lasting connections that will enhance your life and help you grow as an individual. Learn the proper etiquette when it comes to mixing both the virtual and real world, because let's face it....technology isn't going anywhere!!! One rule of thumb, treat deserving people like the royalty you wish to be treated and you will be "A" OK! And to my loyal readers, remember - Mi Luv you like Bill Gates Love him Bank account. Walk Good, until next time!




















296    

I'm Back!!! HELLO 2013!

When are we getting a new post? Don't you have more to write about? Are you stepping away from the blog? These are some of the questions I've been asked by my readers. Well, since my last post, many changes have happened in my life, some not so positive - as a result - I wasn't in the best mental space (like I was prior to that eh?) to write about what I consider to be "My Truth." Am I ready now? You be the judge...but someone once told me  - you won't know the temperature of the pool unless you dip your toes into the water. To my loyal, concerned, appreciative readers - This is my way of dipping my toes into the water.
2012 was a trying year for many people - for me, it was actually looking up. I had just secured a job with a great company, my relationship was in a good place, and I was just starting to shake off the effects of being laid off and unemployed for almost 2 years (effects never go completely away)...things were good. Then in the middle of the year I realized that I wasn't in a very healthy relationship - there were many things that were good, but the things that weren't, created an imbalance on the relationship on a whole. Neither of us had been happy for a while, more content and used to the routine. It took her going away on vacation for 10 days and me being home alone for a while to really understand and assess what was really going on. I will spare you the details but, I will tell you this - If you are a reader of my blog - most all of the answers are in previous posts....That being said - IT IS A NEW DAY!!!!! The sun is shining, the birds are chirping and I feel like a NEW MAN!

I am very thankful for my last relationship because I feel like I have a better understanding of myself and the characteristics I need in a mate/life partner to be happy long term. I also have a better grip on what to look out for that just won't work for me (RED FLAGS). The funny thing is - that most of us see the red flags in the beginning, but choose to ignore them - I won't ignore them the next time around. You live and you learn - chalk it up to experience. I just hope now we can both move on and find people better suited for each other and be happy the way we want to be happy. And that's how I feel about that!

Right after the break up, my dad came to spend some time with me - it was a scheduled trip that just happened to be timed perfectly. It was around my birthday (October 22nd) and it gave us a lot of time to bond and little time for me to dwell on my failed relationship. We worked out together, we critiqued movies, music and women.....it was like having a roommate in college (except he could boss you around - lol). It was a great experience and it really showed me how cool my dad can be as a friend in addition to being a great father. After he left I continued my workout routine, he hooked me up with a gym membership and trainer and I really started focusing on work and working out. Drowning myself in these activities has really helped me through a tough time in my life. When I give, I give 110% all day , every day so it takes me some time to recover from a break up. I was sad, disappointed and maybe even a little depressed for a time but I did things that made me feel good about myself to help absorb the hurt from the pain.

So Christmas is coming up and the new year.....this is usually a happy time when people make it a duty to spend time with their family, friends, and significant other. For me, I was gearing up for it to be a reminder that I was alone....but then out of the blue a friend of mine (Deuce) called me up and said "Yow!, what you doing for New Year's?" I said "No plans, wanna go to Key West?" He said "Hell yeah!!!" and that's what we did! We had an amazing time....We stayed at a 5 star hotel (hoping to meet 5 star caliber women by the pool), we rented scooters and checked out all the attractions the island had to offer. We went to all the best eateries, experienced both the Conch Shell  & world famous Shoe Drop. It was a lot of fun - I was out of my element but it was an experience for the books.

We spent some time at a spa which I would recommend to everyone! It's called PraNa Spa - and it's amazing....Got a full body scrub, and massage....2 hours of total niceness. Oh there is this place we had the most amazing breakfast - It's called Blue Heaven. You will have to wait to get a seat - but it was more than worth it in my opinion!!!!  Delightful. The most memorable part of the short vacay though was waking up at 6:30 am to go Jet skiing around the island and watching the sunrise on the first day of 2013. What a way to bring in the year! As a bonus - check out the video Deuce and I put together for you to get a better feel for the trip...enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0aX1vBQqchI

So far '13 has been very positive and already memorable (and it's only February 2nd - lol). I promise to get back into writing a bit more consistently - maybe not as consistently as before, but enough to keep you fed and not look like you are suffering from blog content anorexia. Thanks for the continued support....Until next time....Mi love unnuh like pancakes love syrup.

















299

Living Cautiously to Die Safely...

How many times have you ever talked yourself out of doing something you really wanted to do? Even WE ALL HAVE A VERY LIMITED TIME ON THIS PLANET and we should be trying to make the most of it with each breath. Do you agree? Worse yet, having someone else talk you out of it? It could be anything from sky diving to deep sea exploring or even more scary - starting your own business during a recession...When did we get so great at not doing what our heart desires or what we think will make us content? Why is it so easy to say "Maybe I shouldn't!" or "It probably wouldn't work anyway" and my personal favorite "If it were such a great idea, somebody else would have thought about it or done it already!" Give me a break! Now I can't claim that my life is where I want it to be (perfect), or that I'm living out all my heart's desires as I type.....; but what I know for a fact is this,

So why then do we sell ourselves short and settle so quickly? The job we have, the school we go to, the person we spend the rest of our lives with, the things we do, the places we go....Are we really living up to our full potential? Are we making the most out of our existence here on earth? My guess is that like me and most people all over the world - we just simply aren't. Knowing that - what are we to do? Well I'm glad you asked, because I think I have the solution for us all.....are you ready?

First you MUST know what you want. This may seem very obvious but the truth is, sometimes the grass looks greener on the other side until you start laying out a blanket and picnic baskets on it. So make sure you think things through thoroughly before throwing everything behind a goal. Why is this so important? Because the bigger the goal, the more discouraging people will be during your climb to success. Some of those people can be VERY convincing. Being absolutely sure that you NEED to accomplish your sought after goal and knowing HOW you are going to do that makes it easier to stomach the discouragement.

Then you start to Remove FEAR from the equation. Fear of disappointment, fear of failure and fear of embarrassment. If what you planned to do was easy, everyone would be able to do it. Additionally, people will tell you that it's impossible.....not that it can't be done....but that YOU don't have what it takes to do it (they do it in a "nice" way). It seems so easy for family and friends to deter us from our dreams and goals; Is it because of the fear that you will succeed? Is it because they would not be able to do it themselves? Or is it that your goal is simply unrealistic? That is something you will have to determine for yourself - but sometimes listening to reasons why things won't work - may give you ideas to ensure that they do. Think about who is giving you advice, what their biases are (everyone is biased) and try to filter through the information as much as possible. This technique only works with a few - most others you will learn how to completely disregard. One thing you should always remember when it comes to failure...One must have failed in order to truly understand and appreciate success. That is the only way we learn and grow. When it comes to your dreams be smart and calculated but HAVE NO FEAR!

Lastly, there are two major components that play a key role and work hand in hand when going after your goals: PASSION and EXECUTION. The easiest way to sum this up is by giving you an example. I went to a store once to check out some new electronics. I came across an item that I wasn't very knowledgeable about and asked one of the attendants to help me figure this thing out. Noticing my interest he quickly went over the S.W.O.T. (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threat) analysis of the product, giving off positive energy and delivering the message with a smile. He got really excited when he mentioned that he too had purchased the product for himself then went into great detail as to how he uses it personally. He had a glow, an aura about him that was genuine and that they can't teach in "How to be a Salesman" school. He was so passionate and excited about the product it was contagious. His execution of delivery was expressive to the point where it seemed like he put his entire soul into letting me know how he felt about the product. Do you think for one minute that this guy wasn't passionate about the product?

How could you tell? - Through the execution.  If you are passionate about something people will know just by the way you talk about it and how much you know about it. You can't just say I want to go Sky diving and know nothing about it.....that means you don't REALLY want to go sky diving. When you are PASSIONATE about something, people know through your EXECUTION and delivery. They go hand in hand. Also, it's a great way to know if your goal is something you REALLY want or it's something you would "like" to accomplish....test the theory.

With all of that being said, I close by reminding you that no one knows what success looks like to you better than you do! Living life to the fullest is wide open for you to interpret - there is no right and wrong answer - you just have to know what feels right and go after it like there is no tomorrow! It won't just be handed to you (for most), you have to go out there and TAKE IT! Tomorrow is promised to no one - It's time to grab life by the balls and squeeze to get the most out. I know you can do it! SO GO GET 'EM!

And to my loyal readers - I have been going through quite a few transitions in my life and I may not be able to write every Sunday as you have grown accustomed. I too am in the process mentioned above and am still searching for my answers. This blog is not only to share my thoughts and experiences - it is also a learning and growing experience for me too. Thanks as always for your support and remember I love you as much as a photographer loves his camera. Until next time - walk good!
















308

STRIP CLUBS & Why Men LOVE Them!

I can already hear my phone ringing about this article. Why? Because I am going to reveal the truth about strip clubs from a male's perspective. Now, I can't claim to be a strip club expert - but I have been to quite a few and I am exposing what really happens behind closed doors. First and foremost, we all know that men are simple creatures and it's not difficult to figure out (most of the time) what they would deem entertaining. To throw a huge blanket - I would say that Sex, Violence, Sports, and pretty much anything that provides a rush with a bit of danger seems to entice men, fair? Knowing that makes it pretty easy to allure them into spending crap loads of money they probably should be spending somewhere else...

Brilliant was the person who invented the "Strip Club." Can you imagine what the thoughts of that person prior to the first strip club were? It probably went like this - You know what? Something is missing in entertainment...We need something that is more exciting, edgy, borderline illegal and most importantly - provides a never ending supply of cash. I got it! I will use the concept of a typical club - with alcohol, dancing and music and throw in naked women as the main attraction to the club. All I have to do is find young and attractive women that are willing to take their clothes off in public for money; Then we will give it a classy name like "Gentleman's Club" and Voila!!! There you have it - The Strip Club is born.

Based on the fact that no matter which part of the world you venture to, or how classy, religious and reserved a city seems to be - YOU CAN ALWAYS FIND A STRIP CLUB! The formula clearly works! And it seems to work everywhere. That being said - let me walk you though a typical night at a "Gentleman's Club."Typically the building can be spotted from miles away because it is engulfed by a bright neon light (usually red, purple or green). The parking lot is usually full almost every night of the week. When you get to the door, you are greeted by a bouncer who checks your ID then searches you (not necessarily in that order). After you become close with the bouncer you then proceed to the cashier who is usually an attractive young female, provocatively dressed in lingerie or something that exposes or accentuates assets. She then  politely asks you for the cover charge of the club which can range anywhere from USD $5-$500 (depending on the night, and depending on the club). Bear in mind that with each interaction with a young attractive female - they (club owner) - expect you to tip. You see once you step through the doors of a "Gentleman's Club" it is the entire experience you are paying for....

So you've paid the cover charge, flirted with the seemingly receptive cashier who you feel obligated to leave a tip for and you are now let loose like a kid in a candy store. Most all of the ladies in the club are young, attractive and scantily clad. And for ones who aren't, they are probably there for the same reason you are which is to see naked women. They (employed females) all give off a vibe like they want you and that you are the hottest man or woman on the planet - even though you see them giving off that same vibe  everyone else in the club - it doesn't seem to matter - you feel GREAT! The music is bumping, the lights are flashing and the energy is CRAZY! To showcase the actual performances -women are usually elevated above the crowd - whether it be on stage, table, bar top, piano, cage .....I've even seen women hanging from the ceiling like ornaments.

You get yourself a table - important thing to remember is that the closer you are to the stage, the more you are expected to spend on tips. After all, you are getting a better "experience" closer up right? This is where your stack of dollar bills come in. Each performer parades in front of the stage expecting to be tipped by everyone up front, and the more dollars you possess, the more creative the girls are when collecting them. The higher the value of your notes, the more "attention". At most strip clubs you are allowed and are encouraged to touch, slap, poke at your hearts desire....just know that with each action, there should be an equal reaction from your wallet. You pay for every smile, every touch, movement....you are basically seen as a leaky ATM from which the ladies have to figure out your PIN to get the maximum jackpot - while collecting small notes along the way. Sounds like fun eh?


So you have drinks flowing because you've opened a tab based on the bartenders outfit and smile, you've been finding creative ways to exchange your cash for a dance or a trick from the entertaining naked women and now you are having a blast because you are a little tipsy and the girls seem to be getting friendlier with every minute. Life is good! O.K., so you see a great looking dancer who you would like to fulfill everyone of your fantasies with but just handing her a dollar for a mere 5 seconds worth of personalized attention is not enough.....What do you do? When she comes off stage and starts to mingle with the audience - you request a lap dance. If you are lucky enough to get to her before the other 100 guys who are after your "dream girl" you consider yourself lucky to be able to get the time....

This is where things start getting tricky. The "chosen one" then brings you to a semi private or private back room - where she gives you the attention you think you deserve. The difference is she charges by the song (between $20-$100 per song @ 2-4 minutes per song) plus she is expecting you to tip all throughout the personalized - for your eyes only - performance. Now what these girls do is build the performance until the end of the song making you want more. Before you know it, you are 3 songs in and feel like you've only been in the room for 30 seconds. When you finally come to your senses - you realize that you've been in the room for a lot longer than you had anticipated and your budgeted $25 has now become $125. And - If you have the wallet for it you continue with this cycle with several different girls for the duration of the night. If you don't, you pay and leave before you get "had" by another performer.

As you can see, these clubs can empty pockets quickly. And men go to strip clubs for many reasons, some reasons include but are by no means limited to :
1. Having a night out on the town with wild stories of grandeur attached (only shared with other men).
2. Get a break from the mundane reality that is your boring life
3. Feel like you have been with someone else outside of your wife/girlfriend to bring some excitement
4. "Experience" the new "tricks" and see if you can find a girl of your own willing try them
5. Conduct business deals and break down someone's guard quickly
6. See a variety of naked women dancing and having the ability to touch every one of them 
7. Another way to break yourself off that doesn't include porn.

Now I could go on forever and ever about why men go to strip clubs, but I think the above reasons, give a good idea as to why many do. Now the question is - as a woman knowing this, are you O.K. with your man going to these establishments with his boys or even off by himself? Would you prefer to go with him and experience the "excitement" while by his side? The truth of the matter is - Strip clubs sell a dream as well as fantasies. There is absolutely no sex in the champagne room and the women let you touch but stop you at a point. They get you there but they don't finish what they start. In essence, for a guy - a strip club is his interpretation of foreplay. It's when you get home to your wife or girl friend, that's when the real action starts. At least that is how it works for a "Gentleman's Club." When it comes to women going to male strip clubs - now that's a different story.....

To my loyal readers, thanks for your continued support and remember - I love you as much as plants love the rain. Until next time - Walk good!













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The Euphoric 3

Why is it so easy to lose the battle against stress? Can you remember the last time you felt TOTALLY FREE? Stress free, worry free and financially free? Total freedom must be a euphoric feeling; like falling asleep on a fluffy cloud and being whisked away by a light sea breeze. I think that is the feeling people strive for when they drink, smoke or do drugs. That feeling of weightlessness - like feathers on your shoulders, air under your feet and nothing but happy thoughts floating around in your mind. I envy people who can simply will themselves into a constant state of ease and a world without worry.

That is before now - Ladies and Gentlemen - I have something to share. After 32 years of life, I have finally discovered what brings me that euphoric feeling of absolute freedom. That place where your mind laughs and plays freely in a beautiful paradise. It was right under my nose the whole time but for some reason I just missed it! All I have to do is focus on 3 things. Firstly, I focus on where I deem the most beautiful country in the world - Jamaica - and put myself there. Secondly, and this may sound cliche, but I imagine having an endless supply of quality time to spend with family - sounds simple right? And last but not least -being able to have all my friends from near and far present to share in all the festivities. Real friends, the ones who you can be your true self around, who know all of your flaws and still love you unconditionally, who  in the grand scheme of things help you accept who you are as a person. 

Let me delve a bit into my "Euphoric 3." My thought is that the more I elaborate, the easier it will be for you to find your mental space of TOTAL freedom if you haven't done so already. That being said - let's start with Jamaica. For me it's not all about the beauty, it also about the feeling that comes from being born and raised there. Being Jamaican comes with a certain "swag," it's built in and comes with the territory. Being of such a tiny country that has made such a huge impact on the world gives it's people a sense of pride, adoration and loyalty. And no matter where you live outside of Jamaica, once you were born and raised there - there is just this "thing" about you that people can't quite put their fingers on but they know it's there. You wouldn't be able to hide it if you tried....It just oozes from our pours. Thinking about all of that in addition to visualizing the beauty helps to lift my spirit. Focus on all the positives and prepare to smile.

As for family. For me, being away from Jamaica for over 10 years and having limited physical access to family really has taken a toll. When I get the opportunity to spend quality time with them it's usually pretty AWESOME. We laugh, cry, share....but most importantly - we reconnect. It is that special connection that brings that indescribable feeling of euphoria for me. I am not able to experience that feeling often by having family physically around me all the time - but I can think back to when last it happened and that is enough to take me "there."

When it comes to friends - I don't even know where to start. I have been very fortunate with this part of my life. I have been blessed with some very good friendships and I value my friends more than words can express. In Jamaica we have a saying.... "Good fren betta dan pocket money!" I believe this to the core. It's not only having great friends - but the process of developing new ones and sharing their experiences for me is a RUSH! Believe it or not - thinking about my friendships and how they come to be - takes me to a state of euphoria - crazy right?

My "Euphoric 3" have been under my nose the entire time. I am happy to have "discovered" them - as they bring me joy and take me to a place that makes all the ugliness of this world tolerable. What are your "Euphoric 3?" Inquiring minds want to know. And to my loyal and devoted readers, remember that I love you as much as actors love standing ovations. Thanks for your continued support....Walk good! And to all the Mothers out there - WE LOVE YOU!

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Awkward...

If you have been living on the planet for more than a day - chances are - you have found yourself in quite a few awkward and embarrassing situations. You know, the type that would have you thinking - How did I get myself into this? It could anything from forgetting someone's name when it's your cue to make a formal public introduction. Or asking a girl-friend you haven't seen for a while how far along she is, when in fact, she isn't pregnant. Let's take it a step further - imagine an adolescent boy who has discovered and quickly mastered the art of masturbation - He is in his room getting some "practice" when BOOM!!! His mom opens the door and catches him pants down in mid stroke....Ouch! Awkward for both parties - I think you would agree.

But this story I am about to tell you is a different kind of awkward. One that takes a while to recover from if you can recover any at all. Let me explain - When I was about 17 I was in a pretty "serious" relationship with a girl we will call Kim - and it lasted for about 4 years. During that time Kim and I spent a lot of time with each others' families, we traveled to exotic locations and did a lot of romantic things that loving couples do. My family absolutely LOVED Kim and even though they only saw her on special occasions once or twice a year, they would always ask me how she was doing and about the next time they would see her...

Fast forward to the end of the 4th year...Things weren't working out and we eventually broke up. Because I knew my family would have made a BIG stink over the situation, I kept the break up as quiet as I could. About 6 months later I met someone else, let's call her Terry, and we started dating seriously about 3 months after that. Things were going well and I figured it was now time to start introducing her to the family. Well, my grandparents were about to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary and ALL the family was scheduled to be there....I thought what better chance would I have to introduce Terry to the entire family? At the time it seemed like a fantastic idea....

Not so much. On the day of the event I was given many responsibilities to help make the event run smoothly and I wasn't going to have a lot of time to formally introduce Terry to my family. No worries, Terry is friendly and easy to talk to and my family is always cool with anyone I bring around - it should all work out right? WRONG!

First of all they had assigned seating and the group at the table we were to sit with, were my most talkative and rambumctious set of family members. No problem, they would just have more to laugh and talk about right? Unfortunately, when it came to having a lot to talk about - they sure did! But not the kind of conversations I had in mind. Here is how it went down. We got to the event a couple of hours early to set up so only a few family members who were involved in the planning had a chance to meet Terry. My plan was to introduce Terry to our assigned table, then table after table until she met everyone at the party....

When the function started and people started to come in I was tasked with seating everyone. Which meant Terry was sitting at the table without me there. I did see that her table was full though and she was in deep conversation with each and every one at the table. That was comforting. The evening went on and my responsibilities became greater and greater so my plan to introduce Terry wasn't working and I did notice that when I glanced at her from time to time to check if she was OK - she had a really weird look on her face and looked at me kind of funny each time our eyes met. I just figured she was being subjected to hearing a bunch of old stories or inappropriate jokes. WAS I WRONG!!!

Close to the end of the night when I finally had a chance to sit with Terry and everyone else was off on the dance floor she filled me in on what happened - this is the conversation:

Me: Hey Baby, as you can see it's been crazy, but I'm all yours now!
Terry: Who's Kim?
Me: Kim?
Terry: YES Kim?
Me: Oh, she was my ex-girlfriend, why?
Terry: Well for starters everyone has been calling me Kim for the entire night AND been telling me how much they look forward to you popping the question to me (her) because they love me (her) so much!
Me: Ahm....well...ahm...
Terry: Do you still love her? Because they clearly do? I have never been put in a situation like this ever in my life! They told me how you are like putty in Kim's hands and how much you have changed since you met her and some even went as far as to tell me about all the trips to exotic locations "WE" went on and how romantic you are because of how much you love me (Kim)
Me: I am sorry you had to go through that, my intention was to introduce you to everyone and break the news about Kim to them tonight....
Terry: That was a MAJOR mistake. People were telling me they prefer my hair in the other style I usually wear it in and how much weight I have put on for the entire night. It got to the point where being Kim was my only escape from the situation.
Me: I am so sorry I put you through all of this...I...
Terry: AND HOW COME YOU HAVEN'T CARRIED ME TO ANY OF THOSE EXOTIC PLACES?
Me: Exotic places?
Terry: Take me home! Take me home now!

O.K. - There are a few things I need to mention about the dialogue above. In the beginning it was very

civil and we were both speaking at a normal volume. By about mid way, Terry started screaming at the top of her lungs which attracted EVERYONE'S attention - including my grandparents'! By the time she said "Take me home now," the DJ had stopped the music! Try hard to imagine the scene. Almost 200 family members all formally dressed at a snazzy hotel ballroom all looking at the commotion which you are the center of! Then to add insult to injury - the music stops playing......It would be difficult for anyone to compete with how awkward and embarrassing that situation made me feel. To make matters even worse, Terry's house was 3 hours away from the function. We were scheduled to spend the night at the hotel but as you can see - the plans quickly took a turn for the worse.

So in addition to all the ruckus we created at the party, I now had to endure the longest most uncomfortable 3 hour ride to Terry's house. One of the more memorable days I would love to forget!
Take the advice from someone who knows first hand, if you are in a new relationship with someone you think is worthy of meeting your family - PLEASE - find a way to give them (the family) a heads up AND if you can also give your new girl friend/ boy friend a bit of history about your previous relationship to help break down some of that wierd ice and prep them for the inevitable questions...that may not be a bad idea either.

To my loyal readers, thanks for your continued support and remember - I love you like Yogi Bear loves picnic baskets. Until next time - Walk good!

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Ladies, WE'RE SCREWED!!! by Guest Writer T-Kizzle

Ladies, ladies, ladies I bring you good news! WE'RE SCREWED. And I don’t mean the “left home and forgot to grab your cell phone” kinda screwed I mean the “left home and got hit by a fu#*^ng bus” kinda screwed.  But look at the bright side- it’s just in the relationship department. And it’s not like we’ve been fed the dream of “I do” and “happily ever after” since we were old enough to say “if I don’t get married and have kids I’ll shoot myself in the throat” or anything...

Every time I sit with a glass of wine (or these days something much, much stronger) and chat to my girlfriends the same question is posed: “Seriously, where are all the good, single men?!”  We’re all fairly attractive; “accomplished” enough to pay our own bills yet not so “accomplished” that we’re driving Range Rovers and snickering at the common folk from our 6 bedroom houses (hence not being financially intimidating?); and $h!t- we’re pretty cool chicks! Yet more of us are single than not.

And please don’t give me that “there’s probably a great guy right under your nose and you’re just not looking” bullshit. I’ve looked, he’s NOT single either! Even the lame, UN-funny, UN-charming, UN-attractive ones - TAKEN! And if there’s a good one who is single I guarantee that’s on purpose - that’s a gentleman who is not interested in a relationship and, who could blame him? His options are almost limitless. An employed 30 year old man with an iota of charm has his pick from various circles. Which circles are these women coming from?

Single 40 somethings who are thinking: I’M 40 AND SINGLE THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING TO MEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Single 30 somethings who are thinking: Ok, I’m on my way to achieving what I’ve been taught to achieve but  I’m kinda lonely over here.
Single 20 somethings who are thinking: Holy $h!t you have your own place- Bone me mister!

A woman’s options are- let’s just say- not as vast a man's. See, if we date someone much younger we’re robbing the cradle; much older and we’re clearly just after his money; much less educated and we’re selling ourselves short; much less financially stable and we’re stupid for taking on a man who can’t maintain the lifestyle we have built for ourselves.

My question is- have we been asking the wrong question? Instead of looking for the good, single men  shouldwe just be looking for the good ones? In a world where eligible bachelorettes greatly outnumber eligible bachelors should single 30 somethings give up the hope of being number 1 and accept that if we don’t want to be forever alone then maybe, just maybe we’ll have to settle for being number 2 or God forbid number 3 or 4 in a great guy’s life?

I recently met a great guy: caring, funny, intelligent, and attractive who owned a financially sound business. He expressed his interest in me and the whirlwind began: dinners in lovely restaurants, wine in great bars, plays, movies, clubs the works. We had good conversation, chemistry and compatibility. After a few months it was brought to my attention that he was engaged- a fact he failed to mention even once. When I heard and verified the information I kindly told him to lose my number and go %uck himself (I’m paraphrasing). My girlfriends say he’s an a$$hole and I’m much better off without him, my male friends say I’m an idiot because he was a genuinely “good guy.”

The bartender at my favourite bar (male) says I’m “unrealistic to only date single men because no man is ever truly single.” My trainer at the gym (male) says “being the woman on the side is often better than being the wife. You get the fun and excitement and the wife gets the arguments and laundry.” Steve Harvey is making bank teaching ladies the art of getting and keeping a man but are there even enough men to get and keep that aren’t already gotten and kept? Have we reached a point where it is unrealistic to turn away Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome just because of that pesky little wedding ring on his finger or worse that girlfriend who probably won’t last anyway?

Single ladies over the age of 26 we are left with the task of being educated but not pompous, accomplished but not intimidating, professional and domestic, sexy and lady-like and when we’re done with all that compete with each other for the 3 eligible single men on the planet! All the while answering that really annoying question we get asked from time to time: “But you’re such a great girl, why are you single?”

Are those of us with no interest in taking someone’s man or who respect the institution of marriage naïve?  Are we old fashioned prudes? Or are we just simply SCREWED?

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To my loyal readers, I hope you have enjoyed this fresh perspective as much as I have. I would like to thank T-Kizzle for giving us such a well thought out and provoking article. I am sure it will have many looking deeper into the topic. Thanks for your comments and continued support - remember - I love you all as much as chimps love bananas. Walk good!

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Forgive and Forget...

Forgiveness - Where do I start on the subject? I have struggled with forgiveness for as long as I have known myself! I know that the "Good Book" says we should forgive and forget, turn the other cheek and all of that jazz but the truth be told ....being able to let go has been a character trait I have not been able to master. It has always been so much easier for me to just cut people off. The way I see it is like this - hurt me once shame on me. I have never been one to give second chances to anyone who hurt, disrespected, offended or violated me in any way, shape or form. Sounds crazy right? You are probably thinking "Wow, this guy probably has no friends..." and you know what, you wouldn't be too far from the truth. There are very few people I deem as friends and only a select group I let into what I call my "Circle of Trust." I may have a lot of acquaintances, but like many of you - for me, there is a HUGE separation between acquaintance and friend.

Now you may be asking yourself, what happens if someone, after a long period of time, has become a part of my "Circle of Trust" and then violates in some way...what happens to then? It all depends on who it is, what he/she did, and ask the question - Would I have done the same thing, in that same situation? In essence - Does this person deserve to be forgiven? Is it something that can be reversed or at a minimum talked through and a truce be found? All of these factors for me have to be considered. BUT to even have a chance for consideration, you MUST first be on the inside of the "Circle of Trust" in the first place. Otherwise - adiós, lebewohl, sianara, arrivederci, さようなら, farvel, kwaheri and if you haven't figured it out by now - I tell them...GOODBYE!


Am I being too harsh? Do I ask too much of my friends? Does everyone deserve a second chance? Consider a "friend" who sleeps with your wife. Or a "friend" who steals something you deem as priceless? Let me bring it down a notch - What about a friend who always borrows money from you and never pays you back? Or a friend who always puts you down in front of other people?......How many chances do these people deserve? As you can see, it's pretty easy for me to formulate these scenarios, not because they have happened to me necessarily, but I see these things happen over and over again! It's crazy to see some of the things "friends" will do to you....   

The funny thing is....we are the ones who give them the access and trust to be around our significant other without even thinking about it, allowing them free reign to be around all of our prize possessions, going into our pockets every time they give us a sob story.....WE GIVE THEM THE OPENING FOR THEM TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF US....right?

Now, consider that all of what I have been saying is true - How does one deal with all of this? I mean it's not like you can get through life without any friends right? Well to be honest with you, I really don't know the answer....but what I do know is this...Harboring  negative energy and carrying ill feelings towards people is not good for your health nor your psyche. It's like carrying around a heavy bag at the airport that doesn't even belong to you. Why would you do that to yourself purposely? Like we don't have enough stress paying bills and staying afloat in these tough times....It would be great if we could just let these things go and release all the negative energy we have bottled up and focus purely on the positive energy right? That sounds great and all - but let's face it - We are only human! I don't know about you but for me it doesn't quite work like that! 

If I get hurt, I want to hurt back twice as hard! If you steal from me - I want to take your prize possession! If you take my wife - I would want to commit acts that would have me either running from the police or spending a LOT of time contemplating how I could have handled the situation better from behind bars. But is it all worth it in the end? My thought is no - but I haven't quite been able to put forgiving and forgetting into practice for myself. What's wrong with me?

Well hear this! I have made a promise to myself to make a conscious effort to start letting things go. I know it's going to be hard, but it can't possibly be harder than having to remember that you aren't speaking to someone because you have "beef." Or avoiding situations where you may see a person who hurt or violated your friendship in some way. All these things put extra strain and stress on your head and heart....Why do it to yourself? If you struggle with some of the same issues I struggle with in terms of forgiveness, join me in making an effort to learn to forgive and forget. NO ONE IS PERFECT! People will be hurting people in some way,  until the end of time....who knows....maybe even beyond that. Let's help each other get over this obstacle. We are only hurting ourselves.

I need the help, let's do this together! And to my loyal readers, I ask you this question....what is it that you do to help you forgive and forget? I need all the tips and tricks I can get in this area. I am literally starting from scratch where this is concerned...But I think it's time for me to grow up and be mature enough to deal with this lacking aspect of my character.....PLEASE HELP! And remember, I love you as much as a printer loves ink! Until next time....Walk good! 
















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Who Needs A Biological Father! PART II - By Deuce

Ladies and Gentlemen, last week I introduced you to Deuce (Good friend of mine) who shared some details about his strained relationship with his "father." This week wraps up the conclusion of his piece....I bring you a look into the life of Deuce....

Who Needs A Biological Father! PART II

36 years years old now and last year I let go of the past for the last time when it comes to my "sperm donor" and our so called relationship. He let me down for the last time and now I've stopped giving out chances to be let down. I always tell people that you have to be responsible for what happens to you in life. No one can do anything to you unless you allow them. It's something I truly believe and I fell victim to myself!

Over the years my fathers made promises and set high expectations and constantly failed to deliver. So why would this time be any different? After relocating to Florida in 2010 after being laid off from a great job I had for 13 years, I wanted a fresh start in a new place that I could see myself settling down and make more permanent roots. The first few months I spent some time with my father figuring that things would turnaround but too much time had passed and many other obstacles had presented themselves. Namely his wife whom he had a rocky relationship with. From outside it looked fine but from within, a purely evil person lurked - I'm convinced this woman did not have a soul. Trust me when I say that I'm not exaggerating, but that's for another post.

Fast forward, after several months of absolutely no communication with him, which was my decision, my birthday comes around in late November. Being grateful for all the birthday well wishes, I receive a call from my father while on another call. I had already decided that I wasn't going to take the call, but while ending the other call his call was picked up. The usual awkward pause was present, then he started in, wishing me happy birthday and  asking me what I was doing later that evening. I was thrown back, somewhat but noted that I had plans and today was no good for me. I hope he wasn't expecting me to drop my plans for him. He asked if he could take me out maybe the next day which was a Sunday. I reluctantly agreed because of my past experience with him and the fact that we haven't spoken in a few months. At this point I had mixed emotions and was skeptical to say the least, but I was talked into believing that he was making a conscious  effort by some friends that knew the situation.

The plan was this; He was to call Sunday morning and we were to meet up to go out. What do you think happened? Exactly what always happens, I never heard from him that day and several weeks later when I left Florida to move back north I still hadn't heard from him. Big surprise, I should have known from all my past experiences that this would have been more of the same. But the inner boy yearning for his father reared it's ugly head even though I knew better.

I received a phone call Christmas morning which I did not take, and made the decision with a level head and a settled heart that this relationship was not good for me and was over. Yes he will always be the person whom I share DNA, but just like cancer, it needs to be cut out so that you can be healthy and live a long and fulfilling life. My father is a disease in which I have rid my body and life of, and since my revelation and cure, life has been looking up!

So when I asked the question "Who needs a biological father" I say not me. Blood may be thicker than water but  blood isn't what makes a family. Sometimes the family you make can be stronger than the one your born into.

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Wow! What can I say outside of THANKS! Thanks to Deuce for digging so deep and sharing such intimate details with us about this part of his life. It takes a lot to grab the horn by the head and deal with such a major issue in one's life. I for one am proud of you for trying your best to make amends - but I am even more elated about the fact that you followed your heart, took a stand and now feel you have made the right decision. Looking forward to seeing you use writing as an outlet for dealing with your emotions....and know this - You will always have friends and family who love and support you - me included!

.....And to my loyal readers - since Deuce's debut article last week, people have been asking me if they can also make contributions to my blog - The answer is YES! If you think you have what it takes to write a compelling piece that is relevant to this blog - I am interested in hearing you out. Send me an email (occupationunemployedemail@gmail.com). And remember - I love you all as much as cold feet love warm socks. Until next time - Walk good!







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